Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Sometimes the pain of Holy Week starts early

I have very few words right now. The waves of grief from my miscarriage came right back today. Holy Thursday has started early for my family.

Its really hard to understand right now why some things happen.

Today I was sitting with my amazing gynecologist and the bishop discussing next steps for napro when the doctor receives a call. Never in a millon years would I have imagined what would happen next.

Out of the blue he tells me:
its regarding your sister in law.

I look at him not understanding. He says:
she felt ill this afternoon.

I begin to worry, she is 11 weeks pregnant.

Then he takes the call and signals sadly that she miscarried.

Right there I sit with the bishop and my doctor and I begin to cry. All comes back to me.

I have just heard the confirmation from the U/S doctor that my nice/ nephew has died.

Why? why?

They had waited a long time until the doctors gave them permision to get pregnant. She had some medical issues that needed her to take medicines where a pregnancy would have been at risk. They followed all the doctors instructions for a long time and only until several doctors gave the go ahead to get pregnant they did.

This is their first baby.

Then the doctor receives another call. Its my own brother calling him for next steps. I hear what the doctor tells my brother and all the instructions to follow.

Such a hard Godincidence. I am hearing on the other side all the instructions my own brother is hearing. And feeling his pain.

My parents have now lost 4 grandchildren to miscarriage and have only 2 living ones.

My sister has 2 living children and 2 in heaven.
My brother one in heaven
Me one in heaven.

Why did this happen to a family that absolutely and completly adores children? what are the odds of this happening to one single family ?

My parents would make the best grandparents ever and we are asked to bear this cross.

If you can spare a prayer for all of us I would be very thankful. My sister in law will have a D&C tomorrow. Of all days Holy Thursday.

This brings so many painful memories for all of us. My whole family is grieving right now.


  1. I am so sorry. I am including you in my bedtime prayers!

  2. Prayers for your entire family. I am so sorry.

  3. I'm so, so sorry. I just read this post dealing with another miscarriage date and then came over to read yours. Prayers for healing.

  4. I am so sorry. I'm praying for you and your family.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. I have not been through this so I do not know the right things to say. I will be thinking of you and your family. I am wondering if there is something medical that all of you have in common. Have you been tested for immune issues or other genetic conditions? It seems that if you, your sister, and your brother all had MC that there is something going on.

  6. My heart is hurting for you...I will be praying.

  7. I am sorry. What a hard experience for your entire family. I am so so sorry.

  8. Oh E - I am so sorry. I will offer prayers for your family today. God is asking a lot of your family. (Hugs)

  9. Lo siento mucho querida amiga. Es una pena terible, yo se. Rogando por tu hermano y su esposa tambien. Que cruz mas pesado por tu y tu familia.....Rogando....

  10. I am so very sorry to hear this. Your family is in my prayers.

  11. I am so sorry.. I don't have words.. Praying for all of you. Sometimes, God brings suffering to his beloved ones so that we may hold on to him strongly amidst all trails and tribulations. God will definitely bring immense good from all your sufferings.

  12. I'm sorry too E. Offering many prayers for your family especially at mass tonight. Sending you a hug :(

  13. I am so sorry for what you and your whole family are going through.
    I often asked God the same thing...why our family? Infertility has affected both sides of our husbands brother and wife and my sister and her husband...and of course us. It is so sad when families have to go through such pain.

    Praying for you.

  14. I am so sorry for your loss. God be with you and your family. Sending prayers

  15. All four we prayed this afternoon in a very special way, asking to Queen of Universe, Mother of the Beautiful Love, to keep you, very deep, in her wounded heart.