I have not written in a very long time. Maybe I am somewhat ashamed of having written here about my fight with my mom after Christmas, but I also know I needed an outlet for this and I feel my blog is the place for it. Also we will be going through many changes in our lives in the coming months and I am somewhat assimilating the. .
In the end after our fight my mom called me 4 days later (I had been very sick during these days) and invited us again back to spend New Years with everybody. If you knew my mom you would know this is major, I never in a million years would have expected it.
My very silent dad also did something utterling surprising, he came to my house a day before to talk to me and told me my mom had been out of place, but that she loved me deeply and was suffering a great deal. He could not take sides he said, but wanted me to know that my mom and him loved me very very much.
I was actually very moved by this act by my dad. He did not try to intervene, just wanted to see how I was doing and try to explain to me how he saw things. This was truly a gift since my dad is very reserved and like a once in a lifetime opportunnity told me many things that I did not know and that made me understand a little bit more about my mom.
My brother also called me when my sister told him and told me he understood and that he loved me very much.
This was also an unexpected gift since my brother is somewhat like my dad. Reserved and not very affectionate at all. All of this has made a major shift in my family and has helped bring out a lot of things that needed to be sorted out.
In the end I know I am very blessed to come from a very loving family, with its human defects like any other and all this drama reminded me that in the end its the most important to love and to be loved.
On the other hand this beginning of the year has been full of decisions and it had become clear that this year will be full of changes.
In my heart I have been having to sort out my feelings, because while I love to travel and try new things all the time, its also very true that I need a lot of stability. But the changes coming are all very good so I am actually looking forward to them.
Its become very clear in the last months that we will need to sell our home and go live somewhere else very soon . We love our appartment (1 of only 3) one that has a large garden, and from all windows you can see trees and there is no noise whatsover. All of this a blessing in a city such as Mexico. We remodeled it completely from scratch choosing every single little detail and it was our home almost since the beginning of our marriage, still we need to sell it and move
But now the time has come. Soon we will not fit and also its not near from my job, nor the schools we want. I need to make my life easier and to be able to spend as much time with JM and this is not helping. Every single day I drive to work I wish we lived much closer.
Also we would be a lot closer to our families, which is an added bonus. So we have been soul searching and decided on an area and to rent for one or 2 years, which is maybe strange since we are homeowners now. But for many reasons this is the best decision for our family. So we are house hunting the next days and hope to move in a couple of months.
For over a year and a half a couple has been calling us offering to buy it. They had come late to buy my brother´s (who lived one floor down from us) and then saw ours and offered us right away to buy it. For months they called us to offer . The last time was December, but we were not sure then, but we will contacting them now to see if they are still interesed, if not we will be house selling and searching at the very same time.
On the bad side and this also major for us we will most probably lose our nanny which has been amazing for the last years. She has been with us now for 4 years, first as a cleaning lady for just one day a week until she became JM nanny after seeing her with him for many months. She does not live near where we live and I am almost sure she will need to find another job and us another nanny. Its truly like losing a part of our family.
We also should be parents again this year. (my heart skips a beat when I write this!)
Our adoption process continues moving ahead and in February we will have the second adoption course (3 full days on adoption and now with more in depths subjects), then more paperwork, more courses and then more waiting. But the end seems near and time is finally moving very fast. After April 21th (JM´s 2nd birthday) the Mexican governement says that we can become parents again and from there is could be anytime in the next 3 to 9 months that a baby is placed in our home. Nerve racking, but soo exciting
I will also stay home for maternity leave for 5 to 6 months. A big change again and we will also need to make a decision to continue or not to purse biological motherhood since I will turn 42 this year.
We also will be needing to see if JM starts some sort of pre school or something this year. With the change of home, a new sibling, losing his nanny, we have been pondering if its the right time for him to go to school for a few hours a day to give him some stability. We would need to do it before all the mayhem starts and he does not feel displaces.
And while this is going on I have been promoted in my job which means that I now have a team in place and will probably have more people reporting to me soon. This is rather than more work a huge relief since I can focus more on strategy and this gives me added flexibility. Still its a big change.
I am very happy where I work now (even if I would love to work half time only), I have a lot of flexibility, a great boss and team and the greatest thing of all I have been able to develop my own projects . I designed together with my boss an NGO program in which we "adopt" 3 NGO´s and help them develop an online strategy. One of them is a crisis pregnancy nework ( a huge one) that just in 4 weeks saw the number of calls asking for help double . This is major since this is only the beginning and each day at home the enromous blessing that adoption is I smile each day I have news from this project.
So many things at once, yet my heart is at peace and joyful, more joyful than in a long time.
- ► 2012 (64)
- ► 2011 (82)