From bad to worse

After all the holiday drama we have been back home and all that could go wrong has happened.

I had not been feeling well and I attributed it to the stress of the last days, but yesterday I woke up feeling all dizzy with terrible nausea and JM during breakfast started throwing up.  He in his whole life never had thrown up so we were very worried.

My DH had to leave home  early for his annual family breakfast and to celebrate with his brothers and sister his parents 50th wedding anniversary that had been in the plans for months.    So he left all worried, but I encouraged him to leave as I saw JM better.

The next hours were terrible,  diarrhea and vomit on my side, a very active 20 month old who had been able to eat breakfast finally, etc. Never in my life have I been so sick from the stomach, I could not move without feeling like falling.

My DH arrived later and luckily I had been able to put JM for an early nap and maybe since he did not  feel himself he slept for 3 hours, very unusual for him. So I had this time off.

I could not hold anything down, not even a drop of water and things were getting worse by the hour.  Thank God JM was doing much better and could eat normally.

By 3 p.m I was very weak, could not move from the couch and decided to call the doctor who said to not drink anything for 2 hours and then start slowly with ice cold water and later some kind of drink to replace the salts I had lost and a vitamin injection. He also said that if this did not get better then I would need to go to the hospital ASAP since I would need an IV.

How we were going to manage with JM and a hospital stay I had no idea.

Well I ended up also not being able to take the water as he told me  and called the doctor for new instructions.  He said he wanted to try something first, an anti vomiting medication via injections, before heading to the hospital.  

Thank God DH had recently learned to give injections and so an hour later the medicine arrives from the pharmacy and immediately I start to feel less dizzy and like I can hold some water.

Later I can drink from the other medicine, but I am still very weak and cannot eat anything.  By then I am trembling and having 3 covers over me did not stop it.   So we go to bed and even while feeling sick I can sleep some hours.

Today I wake up very weak (I have not had food in over 36 hours and limited water) with a throbbing headache and a body that hurts everywhere, but thankfully no nausea.   I will need to take the rest of today very easy while seeing a very messy house and JM for some reason has been crying a lot, very unusual for him.  Arghhhh!

DH seems to be OK but has been complaining all day of his stomach.

And  all our vacation  plans are now on hold.

In all this drama my dad called me today to see how we were doing  (he had no idea I had been sick), but instead of making things better we ended up having a discussion.  I told him that my mom words were out of line and he said he could not take sides and that it had been my mistake telling my mom private things.   He said my mom was this way and that I needed to be wiser.

My dad was very,  very sad that we would not spend New Years with them  and the rest of the days with my nice and nephew and I ended up crying again.

 I feel like such a bad Christian for not being able  to forgive my mom,  but her words have hurt me deeply many times and every single time I have had to be the one to ask for forgiveness when it has not been even my fault.

 I think I need some time away from her to establish some boundaries and make clear that this is not acceptable.  I cannot change her, but I need to protect my heart.

Still it hurts tremendously.