A person near and dear to me is suffering from IF.
I cannot go into details in case somebody IRL is reading this, but I really love her and her DH. They are an amazing, devoted couple.
They have done everything right. Got married in Church, prepared themsleves for the sacrament and did not live together prior to marriage, used NFP always and when they felt the time was the right one decided to start a family with a lot of hope.
It took them a few months then, but she got pregnant and then at 11 weeks miscarried completely unexpectedly as everything had been perfect so far.
My heart weeped for them then and continues to weep for them.
Well they tried on their own for a while and then went to the doctor (my own gynecologist) who said just to relax,.
Months and months passed and one day her DH came to me filled with desperation and asked me to teach them Creigthon as they thought they needed to move forward and were clear they could not do IVF which would be the recommendations of other doctors .
And so it started.
Front row view of the pain of loved ones.
Soon her charts showed some hormonal issues and so I refered them to the only doctor I could that would understand her charts. The doctor was just learning Napro, but decided to take the case and consult if needed .
Me guiding them and knowing full well the difficult road ahead doing Napro in a country where its just starting, with limited knowledge, many medicines and test protocols not available.
Still I just did not know how hard their road would be.
Well a few days ago her parents came to visit and will be staying with them for a month due to a medical treatment her father must have here .
I knew her mother kept comparing her to her very fertile sister (6 children and counting), but I did not know the extent of her lack of understanding and even cruelty.
A few days ago in front of several friends including me she said: I want to go home to my other daughter since she has given me grandchildren and I do not have anything to do here as there are none.
My heart broke and could see her dying inside. .
What can I say to heal her heart?
The local doctor has begun giving them medicines a few montgs ago and told them to use them up to a year and only then consider a lap. I want to help them move faster since I know they need it, but at the very same time we have such limited resources here that I cannot refer them to anybody else.
And her mother continued saying many other idiotic things, even one refering to adoption and biological mothers that I had to stand from the table and walk away in order not to scream at her. (it had to do with the need to "neuter" them after they gave up their child for adoption).
Complete and absolute ingnorance. I am still fuming days later.
My friends went away this weekend to travel as they had planned a few months ago (and most probably escape this woman) and her mother said: " Bring me a grandchild or do not come back"
All of this in front of several of us. Her DH just looked at her mother trying not to scream also at her.
How my heart aches for her.
I truly cannot fantom suffering from IF and having this mother.
My own mother who heard this cringed. She knew from my own suffering how deep this would hurt her.
Her DH is livid, but these are her parents and going into a gigantic fight while her father is fighting an illness would not be wise. He just mantains as much distance as possible.
They continue to hope in Napro, but have not been successful and they are becoming more and more despondent.
Since my story has not been successful I truly do not know what to do to tell them to still hope.
Next step is probably PPVI, but they are not ready yet to do international treatments.
Still I see the suffering in their eyes, and now increasing each day due to her idiotic mother.
How can I help? I cannot tell her what I truly think about her mother, but I want to make her feel understood.
What would you do?
- ▼ November (4)
- ► 2011 (82)