Friday, November 30, 2012

The other side of the adoption coin

I have not been able to put into writing  what I lived last Tuesday.   My heart and mind have been processing it, but I need to share it somewhere where people will understand the enormity of it.

On Monday I traveled to Guadalajara, a beautiful city in the Western side of Mexico and where I spent a couple a couple of days for work.  My team and I had a very large event there to launch a marketing program and I left Monday afternoon after spending lunch with DH and JM.

This city is  where my maternal grandparents lived most of their lives.   Just landing there brought some of the happiest memories of  my life, still  Monday was a very difficult day  on many aspects and I could not wait to come back home on Tuesday night.

When the national director of our adoption found out I was traveling there  they wanted to meet with me urgently.  Their national offices are there and she wanted to meet me for the very first time, despite having crossed several emails by now.

  Time was very limited so they arranged to come pick me up at the event venue, drive me to their offices  hava lunch and from there to the airport.  They understand that with JM, my work and a second adoption I have very little time and just wanted to ask me for marketing advice.

The house and offices were  beautiful.  Brand new and just designed for them.   A very large space for the chapel (it will take some months still to be finished but it looks like it will be amazing).

  This place is both their national headquarters and  the house where they  house the girls and women that are facing a crisis pregnancy in their state.  They are completely separate areas for both.

15 women  were staying there right now, with a couple more, very,  very young arriving this weekend.  They can house up to 30 now so they are trying to get more women to find out about them.

So I meet with  both the national communications director also an amazing,  amazing woman and the national director.  Their passion, commitment and openness to hear advice was outstanding.

Basically they  told me what they are facing.

 They have more than 30 locations opened (some are houses and some are just referral centers) in all of Mexico. 70% of the women that come to them come via internet, but they do not have a strategy for this.  They know they could help hundreds more, but do not even know where to start.

Several people had offered to help them and  have caused more damage than helped and even one case saw this for political gain.  They explained that You..Tub.e and their site were crucial to helping hundreds of women who did not know where to turn and as more Mexican states grant permission for abortion the need is even more urgent.

They explain to me that it not only offering a way our of abortion, but this is only a small part of their work.  It breaking the cycle of violence towards women, but also breaking the cycle of children on the streets and abuse.  Early intervention is key and their success rates are outstanding. So far they have housed over 8 thousand women and counting and in each ones of their lives made a difference.  Adoption is also part of the equation.

So we go to lunch.    Due to time we had to eat at the crisis pregnancy center dining area.  Once a week the office workers eat with the biological mothers.    Well Tuesday was such a day and they invite me to lunch..  So I reach a very large room with several tables and I see some  filled with pregnant girls.

Me an adoptive mother among biological mothers.   My heart is pounding.

I sit at one of the tables and I see a very,  very young girl, that looked like 12  pregnant and right beside her another girl sitting right in front of me.

They are very shy and hardly look up the whole time.   We ask them how long they have been here and both say one month.

And the other girl says: "We are sisters and we came together".

I think maybe the older is there for her sister  or maybe there is a family crisis and the agency is housing her also to protect her. I ask them how they found this place and one of them says: "My mom looked via internet".

This only confirms the urgent need to do something.

Well  I learn their ages: one 14, the other 17, both looking much younger and looking sooo scared.

Its obvious they come from very,  very humble backgrounds.  The older one even struggling with  how to cut a piece of meat with a knife and fork and probably having tasted broccoli for the very first time.  The love and attention they receive from the house mothers is amazing.

Such patience, such care.  Christ was truly there.

I compare my mind  the women taking care of them to Jesus washing the feet of the apostles.

The older girl at the middle of lunch begins to feel sick and I learn  then she is also pregnant.

Oh, my God!

She is not showing so I had no idea.

Both underage sisters and both pregnant.  The 14 year old 7 months along and the 17 is 3 months along.

Their desperate father brought them to the house both a month ago not knowing where to turn.

 I do not know more about  the story:   if it was rape, abuse,  just ignorance, but it does not matter.

A family destroyed.   Also 2 young lives and 2 babies that will be born to 2 mothers that are in no way prepared.

I leave the agency speechless.     The pain of what I just saw stays  in my heart.

I come home that night  at 8 pm and since I always give JM his bath, dinner, I am  very sad to have missed it.

 He goes to bed at 7, but my DH tells me he has been jumping in bed for the last hour which is not normal.   My DH says he has been waiting for me.

I go almost running into his room and he shivers from the excitement of seeing me.   He just learned how to kiss and he covers me in kisses.    He is soooo excited to see me that he applauds and does not want to let go of me.  Its perhaps the time in his whole life where he has been most excited to see me.

Maybe he knows his mom needs it after what she has seen.

 I also cover him in kisses.    He then goes placidly to sleep after we read a while and pray.

This heals my heart, yet seeing this side of the adoption coin has broken a little piece of my heart forever.

On Wednesday I talk to my boss about what I had seen.  He grants me permission and budget to hire one of the best agencies we can find  to help them.  All that is needed and some more.   Thank you God!

 He says we have a responsibility since we have been given so much in our work and  this labor is crucial to save children.  Break the cycle of poverty and ignorance.   I am truly blessed.

I write the agency and they cannot believe this.  It has been needed for years now.

  Since my time is so limited I will need to outsource most of the help , yet the opportunity is amazing.    As one priest told me one day, God put me where I am working right now for a reason.  I am starting to see it despite being many times sad of having to work full time.

Please, please keep this in your prayers and also both of this girls and their babies.

 They truly,  truly  need them.


  1. I will be praying for this situation!

  2. Praying for you, your special intentions, and your family. You are changing the world, one child at a time, but letting God use you!

  3. He certainly is using you, E!

    You are an amazing woman.

  4. you are right where you need to be!!!! Praying....

  5. I will continue to pray for this situation! How overwhelmed you must feel.
    I do agree that JM knew you'd need some love after you came home. He is such a smart boy. <3