Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Happy start to blogging!

I have wanted to start a blog for quite a long time, but was unsure since English is not my mother tongue (Spanish is) and I was afraid that I could not express my innermost feelings and thoughts (and also was very afraid of making grammar or spelling mistakes !)

(Also it took me while to get comfortable with all these letters in blogs meaning things that they do not teach in English classes!!! It was long time before I knew what DH, IF, AF, etc meant and much less could use them! (specially that last one took me almost a year to understand!!!)

I live in Mexico City and consider myself Mexican, yet from a very young age I have been exposed to several cultures and I love seeing time and time again that there is more than unites us than what keeps us apart.

Blogs, specifically Catholic infertility blogs, have become my constant companion in this so far the hardest trial of my life, infertility.

I have stayed up many nights in awe of these women that were feeling what I was feeling. I cried with them tears of joy when adoptions came through, of sadness when babies were miscarried and followed complete pregnancies for months until joyfull births. And I knew well the feeling of those waiting as I am.

Through these blogs I found a close knit community of women that prayed together, advised each other and shared the ups and downs of this journey. I was a lurker for more than a year until I finally decided to blog. At a distance I prayed for them, I learned many things from my own faith and saw miracles and not just babies being conceived or adoptions, but miracles of the heart, true conversions.

Through the blogs I found an ethical cure to my health issues via NaProtechnology (something that does not exist in my country) and also learned about complementary therapies which I also used and was able to get pregnant after three years of IF. Sadly I miscarried at 9 weeks our dear baby whom we baptized as Miguel (Michael in English). He is now our little angel in heaven.

It has been now three weeks since I miscarried and I wish to make this blog an outlet to the many questions that I face now and also to make myself visible to this amazing group of women and finally come out of the shadows and express in their blogs what I have been feeling for a very long time.

Some of the questions that I will ponder in the next posts:

How to move forward after a miscarriage? Where to find the strenght to go on each day and to restart my treatments?
Should we truly continue to pursue a biological family (I am 39 and I am bone tired!)
Will I continue to use alternative therapies with Napro? and if so which of the many I have tried?
Adoption or continue pursuing a biological family or pursue both?

When I got pregnant we had just been approved to start the adoption proceedings and we saw the pregnancy as a sign that God wanted for us the biological path. Then we miscarried and now we are not sure what is our path. But I am sure it will become clearer in due time.

Gracias!

9 comments:

  1. Oh, what a joy to have you blogging and joining this beautiful community! Thank you for the comment on my blog! Yes, I am sure Diego would enjoy meeting your priest friend. Of course, the joy is tinged with sadness as I am so very sorry about your miscarriage. Please know of my prayers for you and your DH. May the Angels and Saints minister to you and bring you comfort and surround you with tender mercies! God Bless you! - Marie

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  2. WELCOME!!! We are so happy to have you here! Do not worry. English is my native language and I still stumble trying to express myself. What we do not understand at first, we will just figure it out along the way.

    I am so sorry to hear about Miguel. I have no doubt he is praying for you daily.

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  3. Hola y bienvenido! I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Miquel. All types of loss are so extremely difficult and the loss of a child is one that particularly takes much time and prayer to overcome... However, no matter how hard things may be, I think it's important to remember that amidst our suffering God has a beautiful plan. Although we don't understand it now, we must pray and trust in that plan.
    I will be praying for you and I really hope that you will become pregnant again soon. Blessings!

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  4. hola! someone told me there was a blogger from mexico city, but i couldn't find her! now i have! what a blessing :) thank you for your comment and while i am very happy to find your blog, i'm very sad that you just suffered a miscarriage :( i cannot imagine the heartbreak and will keep you in my prayers.

    PS: don't worry about the English...you sound perfectly fluent!

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  5. Amiga querida - bienvenidos! NO se la letras como IF, MIL, etc. pero en tiempo aprenderas mucho y tendras mucha ayuda y apoyo aqui. Todos los dias ruego por pocos amigas de Internet y tu, por supuesto, eres una. En mi corazon, tengo un lugar especial por las mujeres que tuvieron abortos espontaneos porque yo se la pena tan dificil para manajar a veces.

    Estoy contenta que tienes un "blog" (como se dice blog?) ahora. Yo se la pena es terible, pero en tiempo es mas facil. Te envio muchos besos y por supuesto abrazos fuertes tambien.

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  6. Welcome!! So excited to have you on the blogs!! :)

    I am sorry for your loss of sweet Miguel.

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  7. I'm so glad you started a blog! I think you express yourself better in English than many native speakers do!

    It will get better after a while with the raw emotion from the miscarriage. My first m/c was harder to recover from than was the second because you never expect to lose your first precious baby. Praying for you & hoping you can have peace. Un abrazo!

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  8. Thank you for your comment on my blog. I am SO glad the story made you smile! : ) Welcome to the blogosphere!!

    While I am so thankful to God for leading you to the blogs and NaPro - for bringing that precious little soul into being - my heart is breaking for you right now. BIG HUGS across the miles! You have the promise of my prayers...

    Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us!

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  9. You will be a welcome addition to our ever growing blogging group! So sorry about the loss of your darling Miguel. We know how much it hurts and our prayers are with you. Cannot wait to read more about you! Prayers:)

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