I have wanted to start a blog for quite a long time, but was unsure since English is not my mother tongue (Spanish is) and I was afraid that I could not express my innermost feelings and thoughts (and also was very afraid of making grammar or spelling mistakes !)
(Also it took me while to get comfortable with all these letters in blogs meaning things that they do not teach in English classes!!! It was long time before I knew what DH, IF, AF, etc meant and much less could use them! (specially that last one took me almost a year to understand!!!)
I live in Mexico City and consider myself Mexican, yet from a very young age I have been exposed to several cultures and I love seeing time and time again that there is more than unites us than what keeps us apart.
Blogs, specifically Catholic infertility blogs, have become my constant companion in this so far the hardest trial of my life, infertility.
I have stayed up many nights in awe of these women that were feeling what I was feeling. I cried with them tears of joy when adoptions came through, of sadness when babies were miscarried and followed complete pregnancies for months until joyfull births. And I knew well the feeling of those waiting as I am.
Through these blogs I found a close knit community of women that prayed together, advised each other and shared the ups and downs of this journey. I was a lurker for more than a year until I finally decided to blog. At a distance I prayed for them, I learned many things from my own faith and saw miracles and not just babies being conceived or adoptions, but miracles of the heart, true conversions.
Through the blogs I found an ethical cure to my health issues via NaProtechnology (something that does not exist in my country) and also learned about complementary therapies which I also used and was able to get pregnant after three years of IF. Sadly I miscarried at 9 weeks our dear baby whom we baptized as Miguel (Michael in English). He is now our little angel in heaven.
It has been now three weeks since I miscarried and I wish to make this blog an outlet to the many questions that I face now and also to make myself visible to this amazing group of women and finally come out of the shadows and express in their blogs what I have been feeling for a very long time.
Some of the questions that I will ponder in the next posts:
How to move forward after a miscarriage? Where to find the strenght to go on each day and to restart my treatments?
Should we truly continue to pursue a biological family (I am 39 and I am bone tired!)
Will I continue to use alternative therapies with Napro? and if so which of the many I have tried?
Adoption or continue pursuing a biological family or pursue both?
When I got pregnant we had just been approved to start the adoption proceedings and we saw the pregnancy as a sign that God wanted for us the biological path. Then we miscarried and now we are not sure what is our path. But I am sure it will become clearer in due time.
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