I did not know which picture to put on my blog (I am still shy of being here) so the only thing I could think was to put an image of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
I do not mean any disrespect by putting Her there, but actually as a testimony that She has been a great rediscovery during this IF journey and has been always at my side.
As a Mexican I have always had taken Virgin of Guadalupe for granted. The Basilica where she appeared is located just 30 minutes from my house and her image is everywhere and very much part of the culture.
I prayed and visited Her many times when I did not get pregnant, I visited when pregnant and she has been always at my side during this time of grief after my miscarriage.
We have a saying that perhaps as a Mexican you might not be Catholic, but you are Guadalupano (that you belive in Her) and its funny, but real even some atheists and protestants are!
They say the Basilica its the biggest Catholic pilgramage site in the world or at least one of the big three with Fatima and Lourdes. Some 20 millon people vist it every year and around the 12th of December (her feast day)of 2009 6.1 million visited Her.
So when you have incredible things nearby they become part of the landscape and you fail to notice them until you need them and need Her indeed I have.
There are many reasons why in my IF She has been paramount, but here are just some of them and I pray that somebody out there can rediscover her again during their journey:
1) She is very pregnant and the idea of a pregnant Virgin makes my IF heart happy. She is about to give birth which is denoted by the knot in her dress above her belly. Indian women wore this when pregnant so that the baby would not turn around and come out the other way! I feel that a pregnant Vigin will understand my yearning for this state. (hope it does not sound disrespectful) She gives me Hope.
And Her image is full of signs and symbols of Hope (will blog about the symbols later but if you want to find out from the source tonight will be a great program in EWTN about this from Fr. Eduardo Chavez who is the foremost expert in the world on Her image, he is awesome!)
2)Her words. She has acompanied me with Her words during this time. She has said some of the most comforting words an IF woman can hear! The ones that I repeat time and time again during this journey have been:
“Hear me and understand well, my son the least, that nothing should frighten or grieve you. Let not your heart be disturbed. Do not fear that sickness, nor any other sickness or anguish. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything
Wow! under Her protection, within Her fold!!! Am I am not here, your Mother? I cannot tire of these words. Everyday, during the darkest times I read them and meditated on them and they gave me peace-.
3) She left us an actual image of Her!!!! And you can see it!!! I cannot belive this as I write, but its true. I can go an see Her directly hundreds of years later! So I have gone during the darkest times and spoken with Her about my hopes, fears and joys. I have sat many times just meters from Her in awe of this.
Its my prayer that each blogger/ reader of this facing crisis can find Her and be consoled by Her.
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