Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The one book I wish I had years ago

IMPORTANT:   I have one book from "The infertility Companion for Catholics"  to give away.  And Josemaria my son will choose the winner by EOD  May 4th.    Write in the comments section or send me an email and I will include you.    One important thing: in case you do not live in the USA and have therefore not been able/willing  to participate please do so here.    I have seen the statistics from my blog and know many of you live far away and I know how lonely it can be.    My offer is this:  I will make sure  you get it either by  sending  the copy I have from Mexico  to anywhere in the world you are or buy another one and send it via Amazon. Whichever is best, but lets not keep the distance from getting this book to you   =)

My review:

I am a voracious reader and have been since childhood.  Books have helped me learn, have given me  big dreams and in many cases have accompanied me spiritually.   

When I started to realize we were facing IF,  my natural instinct was to look for  books to accompany me  on my journey.   I bought many, even I could say I have over 20 on the subject from diet, to alternative therapies, to treatment options, to stress management, but none truly spoke to my heart.  

Most were from only a clinical perspective forgetting that we are not only body or mind and the few that addressed the spiritual part were not Catholic. 

I , and I know many others,  felt so alone.   How could this be possible? 

After many years one day I learned that "The infertility Companion for Catholics" was coming and could not believe it.   I went on Ama.zon and put my name on the waiting list.   I could not wait for April to come!!!!  

Then they put the online example and I browsed the index and could not believe it. Finally a book that addressed my pain, that spoke about the many aspects of IF and written by no other than 2 women friends, that had faced one primary infertility and the other secondary and that both were now  adoptive  and biological mothers.  They would for sure understand what we have faced and indeed they did! 

When my copy arrived a few weeks later I could not put it down. 

Page after page spoke about what I had felt, my questions, my anger at God, my rebellion, my growth in faith,  the challenges to my marriage, our miscarriage and adoption journey .   My book is full of annotations and many chapters I have reread.  

Some of the highlights for me:

·     I loved that the authors explain in chapter 4 in layman´s terms the treatment options for Catholics and in the back of the book  there are several resources where to find answers..   Although I have read many of the Churches document on the subject the authors clarified many points for me and manage to put everything in such a way that we can easily refer to or even show to people when they ask.  

·     Another very important chapter for me was chapter 5 on discerning God´s will  in our IF journey by using the discernment  method by St Ignatius of Loyola.  I had the privilege of studying at a Jesuit university and meeting a couple of amazing Jesuits, yet I never thought of using this method for my journey, yet is makes all the sense in the world since we are faced with so many little and big decisions.   I plan on using this chapter as we continue to face IF and we are still facing many decisions.

·     In chapter 7 the authors talk about bearing the cross of infertility and I found so many insights that almost the whole chapter is full of annotations, but one that I want to share here is:

  “Every day as we walk this journey, we await the miracle of a child.  But perhaps the miracle is our own transformation into more faithful Christians.  Christians who look in awe for miracles all around, but find that these miracles start slowly in the same way that the miracle of a seed becomes a giant tree.  Just as a seed needs to be nurtured by sunlight and water in order to grow,  we , too need to nurture ourselves and our relationship with God in order for the miracle of our transformation to transpire. “

This made me reflect for days and I am thinking of putting this in the sidebar of my blog.

    Chapter 10  I had to read slowly and with a tissue nearby  as it speaks about the pain of miscarriage.  Having been through I cannot be thankful enough to the authors for writing it.  When I came out of the hospital after my D&;C I did not know what to do.  To the world my son was just a bunch of cells, the pain of miscarriage much less than the one of a still birth and nothing compared to losing a baby, yet my pain was very deep, the most pain I had ever faced and it seemed nobody understood. Yet in this chapter the authors validate what I felt then and give many  resources to living through the grief.

I could write  a lot more about this amazing book, but for sure my review is nothing compared to it.   So go and buy it and buy more for your priest, friends and family!!   Lets show the world that we need these types of resources and that Catholics care by buying it here. The Infertility Companion for Catholics  


  1. I would love to read that chapter about miscarriage. I remember being so thankful for the catholic blogs because someone finally understood my sorrow!
    Praying that Josemaria is blessed with a sibling and your prayers are answered!

    Enter me in the drawing ;)

  2. Please enter me in the drawing, although we are moving in the next few weeks, so you might have to wait to send it to me if I win. It would be so nice to hear from other Catholics who face IF.

  3. Please enter me in the drawing. I'm do looking forward to reading this book. You are right ... I wish I'd read it a long time ago.

  4. I can't wait to read the book. please enter me in the drawing.

  5. Me!!! Would like to have a copy!!

  6. Please enter me in the drawing.