I was put in a washing machine

Its a common saying here that when life gets complicated and confusing you have been put by God in a washing machine... I feel like this since last week.

One day more and more surprising than the other. GOD wants something, I just do not know exactly what.

Messy cycles, adoption progess, full budget planning meetings during this mess with many more work responsabilities and the most surprising development for Napro here ever.

First:

My cycles are a mess and today I do not know what is truly going on. Its starting to freak me out.

For the very first time in my whole charting life I had a double peak, but also unusual bleeding.

I had called PPVI Monday last week to ask for advice since I was not sure on when to use HCG and only until today they they call me. Which was stressful in itself.

The nurse starts by telling me that Dr. H determined my peak on cycle day 19 BUT I tell her it really came on day 26th. The only instruction he had given was to start ASAP the anti-inflammatory diet, but now we need to wait for further instructions. I was instructed not to use HCG until we figure out what is going on so I am not on it.

So I start telling the nurse all my lovely new signs: I had amazing 10 KL with a little bit of blood (never had seen this in my life!) (we had used that day as it started dry and my peak had passed) but this is to me was a sign of ovulation on 26th. Then nothing so I determined this as my peak but then!!! on 29th and 30th I see again 6 and 8 KL with blood!! now more and to me its clear that its not my period at all. And today cycle day 31st 10 CKL!... So I ask her: could it be first my ovulation and then implantation bleeding?
The signs and dates match.

She said maybe...

Now I need to wait for a few hours for more instructions. Its still too early to say what is going on, but one things its clear my cycles are getting consistently worse as time passes after my miscarriage and a pregnancy in this condition without my luteal phase support is not ideal.

In the middle of this....

During all of this exciting developments of my cycles the adoption course has been amazing. Something out of this world and we hear from contacts that the director of the agency thinks very, very highly of my DH and I. We are told that adoption might happen very quickly for us. We are super happy. So biological or adoption? Today I am a mess thinking about both.

BUT then....

I am given much more respnsability in my job. My boss has assigned me some 60 to 70% of the team´s budget. All last week was budget planning and I am given more tasks and the option of hiring more people for helping with these tasks, but it will take time.

My focus right now is my family so this is not good.... I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.


BUT THEN in the middle of this!!!!!!!!!!

I get a call by the director of the bioethics department at a Catholic universtity. A doctor I gave a presentation to gives him my name. A saintly man that works directly with the Vatican.

He feels the duty to put me in contact with a group of prolife investors that are working without much publicity on funding prolife activitites. They have been looking for this crazy practitioner and do not know where to find me (they have my company name, but not my name) He tells me to prepare for something big. Very, very big. Tells me to prepare a presentation of where we are with Napro in Mexico.

I work nights trying to get ready knowing that this is huge.

So I meet with the advisors together with some people that have been helping with Napro here. The advisors give me all the names that have recommended me. They have done their homework and contacted several people that I have been presenting this to. They know a lot about me which to me is surprising.

Friday morning , the meeting starts at 10 a.m and ends at 5:30 p.m. What was a one hour presentation turned into a full day one. I do not even believe it as I write it.

We have in the meeting a PHD in social studies, the dean of a medical school, one top social investor and the director of the fund. They interrupt my presentation dozens of times with questions. They have been online trying to learn about Napro and think its key for the development of their prolife plan.

They need prolife doctors and think this is the way for this.

But also since IVF is unregulated mainly its a huge abortion mill. They are very worried that no options exist for Catholics.

I present them with a budget to start training practitioners. A very large one in my eyes. They tell me its too little. That if they are going to invest it needs to be very big, a 5 year plan. A full blown clinic with satelites in differents states, education programs for the catholic universtities, marketing, etc.

They give me the names for their donors.

They appear regularily in the best business magazines as top business men. A couple of them belong to families that are also in Forbes magazine among the world richest. I had known they are Catholic prolife, but not this.

I smile..... a very, very nervous smile.

They ask me if I would dedicate fully to this. If I would quit my 12 year old job and work with them full time.

I call my spiritual director on Saturday in panic. He tells me that he knows about these people and that this is the way to do it. That I have a responsability to help out. Yet to find a balance with my family life.

I spend 2 sleep less nights.