I am so ready for Holy Week in more than one aspect. Some rest, spiritual reflection, silence.
Last 2 weeks have been very difficult.
I was for 6 days in NYC, then came back to Mexico City for 2 days and then had to head back to San Francisco. Every day that I traveled was full of meetings and nights dinner with the team.
Very little prayer time (other than my time in NYC at St Patricks my prayer life has been almost non existant) and the reality of my new job combined.
I am beat.
Josemaria stayed all this time with my parents and the days that were free with his dad (there was a long weekend here) I actually moved all my travels so he would be able to be with his dad the most time, then with us both the weekend and with my parents the rest of the time.
I am not only physically beat, but also beat because my trip was an eye opening experience and I need to brace for reality. I saw a side of human nature that was not the best.
In summary I have a higher position in the company than I knew (I just found out) which means more visibility and more responsability (at a time where this is the last thing I want), the coming months will be full of work until I find help (I need to hire a person and there are tons of requirements) and I am really, really in the minority in many aspects. This last part is the hardest.
I have always been the minority: in a very liberal school a practicing Catholic, in work a woman that wanted most of all a family, but what I saw was much more difficult than expected.
The people that mostly I will be working in the USA with are highly political. (the exception is my boss and my team here which are very, very nice) their career is the focus (family is not even on their radar), most (if not all) come from Ivy League education or from other companies where they were very succesful, they are highly, highly comptetive and they are very pampered at the company and most are young. Its an explosive combination.
Too much success at a very early age with not always strong character.
Also in my area there is a very high percentage of people living very openly very liberal lifesyles.. (men "married" to men, people sleeping around, etc). The percentage of this is much much higher than I have ever seen.
I am still in shock, but this is in part the reality of the world and we need to be out there where the fights are as lamps, but this does not mean its easy.
So I am ready for Holy Week.
To gain strenght for the next months until I have some help, to focus on what is really important, to really pray, to gain perspective, etc.
Next month is also very important for us.
Tomorrow we have the 6 months post adoption follow up (time has flown by). We need to go to our agency and present tons of papers: baptism documents, medical records by Josemaria´s pediatrician, then a certificate by an independant doctor and do an hour interview with the social worker and this will continue for the next 2 years. A lot of work, but I am also so glad that the agency looks out so well for the babies in their care.
With this follow up and in just in 3 weeks on Josemaria´s 1st birthday we can start adoption proceedings again and by the time Josemaria is 2 we could be parents again (the law says you can only adopt again when all procedures in the prior adoption are perfect, but also only when the first baby turns 2).
Its again a long road ahead, but we could be parents again and its so very, very exciting and among all the work coming up I need to focus on this. .
Also this month I turn 41 and I restart Napro testing to give TTC another chance for probably the last time in my life.
So many things to focus on and what better way than to start with intensive prayer time during Holy Week.