Thursday, July 28, 2011

Bad news come in three.... cancer plus others

What seemed like finally a streak of good news has turned dramatically.

I blogged Monday that many things that had been worrying us were changing very fast for the better.

But it was not to be

Its like going from sunshine into darkness again in just a few days.

Not only several things have changed since Monday, but just a few minutes ago I have been told by my mom that my father has been diagnosed with cancer.



The biopsy of last week found 4 points of cancer in his prostate out of 29 samples and so my family begins the roller coaster of emotions this type of news brings.

My mom told me to take it with the seriousness that the word cancer brings and that right now it can go from something manegable to horrible. We will know only in a few days.

It was too good to be true that there had not been hospitals, major illnesses or other things in the last months for DH and I.

DH and I cannot have more than 3 months pass without a major health crisis. And I mean major and this on top of IF which almost had killed my spirit.

And I am so tired of all of this!!!!!!!

Right now I truly feel like screaming to the heavens saying: Why why why?????

Have we not been through enough already in the last 4 years???? Really more?

We still do not know the extent of everything, but of course the word cancer is horrible to hear specially in a parent.

There are 3 paths right now:

1)It can be that they caught it extremely early and need only to do radiation and the cancer is located only there. Prognosis very good, but he would need regular checkups for the rest of this life for cancer. We are praying for this right now.
2)That they will need to remove the prostate with the many issues that this brings (he has other issues such as high blood pressure, some blood sugar issues which limit his options, plus he is 73 years of age), but prognosis would be good. He would need to be under doctors care for the rest of his life and have several types of treatments to prevent issues.
3) Or that there is cancer somewhere else and this is metastasis. Yep. There is the possibility and tomorrow he will be in the hospital for an extremely extensive round of testing to see if there is no cancer somewhere else. This would be the most horrible news ever.

And most probably this will continue next week and only until then we will know next steps.

My family history with cancer is not nice and this brings back all of the horrible memories.

My 37 year old uncle (my mom´s only brother) while expecting his first baby was diagnosed with tearduct cancer. One of the most unusual types of cancer ever. He died a horrible death 2 years later after losing his eye, money and many of his abilities. My beloved grandmother died of grief a few months later.

And the closest aunt from my dad´s side had at 40 breast cancer. Double mastectomy with recurrence. After using both western and alternative medicine she is now free of cancer, but she spent 2 years very,very sick and has lived with the shadow of cancer all her life.

So both my parents have had siblings with cancer and it was horrible. So I am sure this is on their minds right now.

This in addition to several news after I wrote my happy post on Monday. It has been one bad news after the other.

DH has been told he is in his new job and he was extremely happy as I blogged. A perfect fit for his heart and abilities.

But our hearts were broken Tuesday when he was told that he would begin with only 2 classes a month.

Yep, a month. And this could continue for a long time as they told him it probably would take years for him to have a full load. We knew there were few classes available, but 2 a month is nothing and to wait years for a full load brings us back almost to square one..

So its back to looking for a job.

He loves this new one, but its clear this will not be the answer for us.

On my job front....

On Tuesday after I also posted my blog that my boss and his boss were going to be helping me during my maternity and that my future looked promising, right afterwards I started receiving very bad news from global and some peers.

Yep. Not nice news which my boss has confirmed.

My company will be going through a major upheaval in the next months.

The workload for most people will double and I probably will be asked to increase my workload dramatically since I am one of the ones with the most experience.

No salary increases in the short and long term, probable major layoffs and merging of regions under one or 2 persons, etc.

And they were considering me for one of the positions that would result from the merginig of several ones. On the outside it would look amazing. Several regions under one person, but in reality really, really bad news and I might not be able to say no.

Yep right when our baby will come and I was looking to cut my workload as much as possible.

Bad news come in three right? I cannot take much more right now.


  1. Oh no...I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you.

  2. I am so sorry. Just to give you some hope and perspective about your dad's diagnosis: My dad went for a routine PSA test (was 55 years old, feeling totally healthy, at the top of his career as a surgeon), and had a number of 126! This screamed "cancer" and sure enough, it was already metastasized and very aggressive. Some of his doctor "friends" told him they would just sew him up and let him die, essentially. He wouldn't take that for an answer, so he came to Scottsdale to a Mayo Clinic doctor. They were very aggressive in treatment, and even though we still thought he would only have a couple of years, we are eighteen years later and he is doing fine! (He's 73 now.) Today, in fact, he got his PSA numbers (routinely taken every six months) and they are the lowest they have ever been.

    He did have one recurrence of the prostate cancer, about five or six years ago. They did radiation, and it has not come back.

    I just say this to give you hope that even in the most hopeless cases, there are wonderful outcomes! And, if they caught it early in your dad, he will be just fine, and will have a long life. :)

    Sorry if that's too long and too much information for a comment box!

    I will pray for all the situations you described!

  3. *I didn't mention at first, but it was prostate cancer, like your dad.

  4. ugh. So sorry to hear about this.

  5. I am so sorry that you are going through so much! My 74 year old father in law went through treatment for prostate cancer a couple of years ago and is now 100% cancer free. I pray that your dad has the same healing!

  6. So frustrating! and So sad! I am sorry. I will be praying for all these situations. I hope tomorrow brings some hope.

  7. Oh, my dear... I have no words. I can't even imagine all that is running through your heart and mind right now. Stay strong and keep HOPE alive! PRAYERS and HUGS across the miles!!

  8. I'm so sorry to hear this news. My husband and I went through YEARS of financial distress, secondary infertility, and my parents' divorce, all at the same time. So I understand the "looking up to heaven and screaming why?" mindset. It's a heavy cross you are carrying right now, but many many fruits will come from it. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. I know it's so difficult, so I will be praying for you dear friend :)

  9. It may sound trite, but is nonetheless is always darkest in the night right before the sun begins to rise. That's where you are now, in the darkest of night. Hold on just a little longer, the dark is frightening but the light is even more welcome because of it.

    God is working, this is part of His plan. Be patient and trust Him, but remember that it is okay to be a little child and ask your Dad to flip the light back on.

  10. I am so sorry. I'm praying for you! And your family!

  11. I am so sorry to hear this. I am praying for your family. Praying that God strengthens & guides you during this difficult time.

  12. I know your feelings about your dad. My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years ago and the news was shockingly horrible. However, he had surgery and had success and has done beautifully ever since. Keep positive thoughts and I will pray. God bless you friend

  13. Praying for you. I hope that this is the darkness just before the dawn.

  14. Praying for you! I'm so very sad that things went from great to horrible so quickly.

  15. So much to deal with all at the same time! Praying for your dad and your husband's and your jobs.

  16. So sorry to hear about all of this, especially your dad. Prayers for option 1.

  17. Praying dear :( so sorry.
    I'll add to the other success stories (not sure if you've read it on my blog?) my dad was diagnosed with cancer in February and he is now considered cancer free :) I'll be praying for the same results for your dad!!!

  18. So, so sorry. Praying that the cancer is treatable and hasn't metastasized. Also praying for your jobs. May you feel God's peace during this time.