Thursday, November 3, 2011

Never in a million years

Never in a million years I would have thought I would be on the other side of the adoption coin.

Helping in a crisis pregnancy of a 15 year old girl. Abandoned by her boyfriend.

With a family in panic.

Who hid the pregnancy the first 7 months from the world. By covering herself up, trying not to gain weight, by using a girdle, by doing all her normal life, crying at night so nobody would now..

As I have mentioned we have an amazing woman who helps out at home a few days a weels. She is the one that hugged me on mothers day recognzing that even if I did not have a baby in my arms, I was a mother of a baby that had died in miscarriage.

A faithful Catholic that worked from the age of 15 supporting herself cleaning the houses of others. That had left her little town to make a life for her and her family . The mother of a girl and a little boy. Wife to an amazing husband that also worked like crazy to make life better for their 2 children.

A few months ago she came to me telling me that in her small town women were abandoning babies. I gave her brochures about the association where we had adopted. She took the posters to the churches there and gave the brochures away.

We never imagined she would need it.

About a month and a half ago she came to me crying. She was devastated. I will call her E.

Her husband had come home much earlier than expected and had found their 15 year old daughter washing her clothes in the sink with her belly uncovered. What he saw he could not believe.

It was the pregnant belly of a 15 year old. They thought she was some 4 months along. Well she was 7 and was thinking about running away, having the child somewhere since the shame that she had disappointed her parents was so, so great. She had been hiding this from the world.

She had been using special clothes to hide the belly. They ran to the doctor and the doctor said the baby was fine and their daughther was 7 months along. They were devastated. All their dreams shattered. Afraid. Angry. and much more.

The father: a 16 year old boy, it had been their first time having sex. When he found out about the pregnancy he had run away to another city. Left her all alone.

E. did not know the father`s parents. They did not have a way to contact them. They were on their own.

She came to me asking me for help and we found a spot in the same house where Josemarìa`s mother had gotten help. They were willing to help E`s daughter.

She did not want to go. Refused. And spent the next weeks at home trying to think what she would do when this baby came. At 15 years of age. With no skills and very very little money.

All seemed OK on the medical side. The belly of their daughter like magic became more rounded, the baby descended (it seems due to the lack of space the baby was nesting somewhere below the lungs and the belly seemed much smaller) and they had begun to name the baby: Marìa del Pilar. The name of a very famous Spanish Virgin.

What devastated E. the most was that her daughter had done this to herself and the baby. She is very prolife and could not believe her daughter would put the baby in such danger. She knew she would never ever abort, but this was as bad in her eyes-

Well a week ago E comes to me crying. For some "·$%%$&$% the city governement had put a new rule in social security. They would not longer be offering pregnancy services to women that had gotten pregnant before the age of 16.

This is the same Mexico city goverment that had made abortion legal. Please do not get me started and all with U.N money and international funds (a lot coming from the US). A governement that had done to greatest attempt to kill he family structure and unborn life now was taking away the simplest rights.

E. was desperate. What would they do now? where would her daughter give birth? Get the services now in almost the month 8th of her pregnancy. Also her daughter was now so scared, did not know what to do with her life. They did not know how to help her. REality had set in,

We called the association where we had adopted Josemaria.

They are offering to help them in EVERYTHING at no cost to them,

So today we are going there (Josemaria, E and her daughter) so her daughther can meet with them and start the process to stay there. I offered to take them since they are afraid.

Today I will go the same house where Josemarìas biological mother probably stayed for all her pregnancy. Meet with the woman that helped her make the hardest decision of her life. I will see how she lived. Know what her life must have been like.

I am nervous. I will see a side to adoption that I did not know.

E.`s daughter wants to keep the baby so this most probably will be a complelty different story. She will be able to stay a couple of weeks after the birth, but before all is the same.

They will provide her with everything. Psychological, medical and spiritual help. During the remaining 4 weeks of her pregnancy they will teach her all they can so she can have a job (they have a technical school where they teach beauty school). give her the emotional tools so she can be the best mother possible at 15 years of age.

Teach her loving parents how to help her.

When I hung up yesterday making the appointment I felt such an admiration for this association. A Catholic one. One that regardless of your circumstances helps you out.

Can the abortion coallition say the same? will they be there if you need it?


  1. Wow, what a coincidence that you wrote this blog post. We were just given a profile of a young Mexican women here in the states whose boyfriend left here and who is hiding her pregnancy from her father. Her mother is the only one who knows. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to not be able to talk to anyone about it. We don't know if we will be chosen to be the birthparents, but we hope we can be the ones. Please pray for us and for this young woman.
    I can't believe they stopped services for pregnant women if they got pregnant so young. That is very callous. I'll be praying for E. as well in this difficult time.

  2. The abortion coalition will only "be there" if what you "need" is to abort. God bless this wonderful organization...this will change her life. If only everyone had the same attitude toward others that this organization has for that young girl.

  3. A beautiful testimony of Life, has brought tears to my eyes. It would be wonderful to write an article of the cycle of "Life" (both sides of the coin) and how with the help these amazing adoption agencies offer, this devastating problem of a crisis pregnancy is allowed to flower and bloom to a better future for all involved. I will be praying for her and all women in her situation.

  4. I'll be praying for you as you see this unknown angle of the adoption circle. I'm so glad that E's parents, although disappointed, are supportive. I will be praying for E and her family and for a safe delivery. Let her and her family know they will be covered in prayer.

  5. What a beautiful story of life - and how Josemaria has already changed the world. Without E's mother knowing your story, who knows how this story may have ended.

  6. Wow. I'll pray for mom, baby and family. So glad she is getting help. Thank God there's an agency that will help no matter the circumstances! And how amazing you find yourself in a situation to see it all from the other side.

  7. That sounds like such an incredibly wonderful organization! Praying for them, and for this girl and her family!