Sunday, March 4, 2012

Sometimes IF has very special gifts

 A couple of days ago I wrote about how my heart was broken from seeing a very loved and close family member suffer from IF.   5 years of waiting, tons of insensitive comments from family and friends  and such limited resources here.

 All my hate for this horrible disease came back with a force I could not even believe.

Today I decided to write him a letter about my personal experience with Napro.  I opened completly to him about my pain and my experience with it and what I really thought they should do from all that I had learned over the years of living with it.

 I really did it from the heart and for the first time I opened my heart to my  family about my journey.

 A couple of friends know the details of my journey as well as some clients where I thought it would be of help,  but that is the extent of people I have told in real life  (this is why I consider the blogging community and the yahoo group such great resources and during a long time my only lifeline)

 I basically told him that I thought they should pursue Napro any way they could and that I would do whatever  I could for them.

I thought to myself as was writing this even if I do not have a child here on earth, I will never regret all that I did.

I never compromised my morals, I have a diagnosis, my marriage is much stronger, I have been able to help others through my own pain and several children have been born from this.  As much as I love working in marketing its not even 1 % as satisfactory as this work.

Yet  my humanity gets in the way.  

You see,  I have grown discouraged in seeing so many have success with it and me being one of the few where it seems to have not worked.  

I have grown tired from telling people about this amazing system, when  I do not have a child here on earth.  

I know that this is in a sense incorrect, but..... this is how I feel sometimes.  Maybe a temptation and the bad guy playing with me,  but I cannot deny it.  

 I get discouraged when people tell me to my face: , how can you talk such things about when you have no living children? its extremely painful.  
 
  The last weeks have been like this. comments and questions from well meaning people telling me directly that I  am making a mistake believing in this.  

This was my mood  when I received a call  today from this family member. .

 I never expected what would happen next.

He  just called telling me he and his wife  had  talked and wanted me to teach them ,  this coming from perhaps the most private man I know.  Its  almost a miracle.  He said he trusted me and wanted me to help them.

I almost cried.  Its such an honor for such a great man to open his heart to me.  I could help my own family.

I went to Omaha to find answers for me without really thinking about anything else.  I did not know  why I wanted to become a practitioner,  I had never ever met one in real life, I had never had the intro session nor had charted correctly, yet somehow God put this desire in my heart.  

And due to the encouragement of many wonderful people I went and became a practitioner.

 One of those people  was TCIE and  I also have been inspired over the years in communicating this to others  by people  such as Polkadot  (your blog has such amazing info!!!)..

I never imagined I would be in a position to help several friends, or be witness to several children being born to couples that had faced IF for years and now today  being in a position to help a person from my own family whom  I love very,  very much..  

Had it now been for my own IF I would not be in a position to help others.

I really needed to be reminded of this.  Specially in the last weeks where I have grown so tired.

Sometimes the cross of IF has such unexpected gifts.  




7 comments:

  1. If has "gifts" because you are a soul beautiful enough to accept them.

    God Bless Your Work.

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  2. This is beautiful. Seeing God's plan come to fruition (even if it is just one small step at a time) as we minister to one another is such a blessing.

    Thank-you for sharing your story with us and your family member.

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  3. Sometimes the gifts take a long time to reveal themselves, don't they? Thanks for the touching story. Your family is in my prayers tonight.

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  4. Dear friend. Aren´t you aware about the huge gifts of life that you have spread all around you? They are more, in my belief, that what are you concious. First of all. My health. I am a new woman thanks to your leadership. You know that I was in very very high risk. My irrational fear of thinking I was not doing anything to prevent breast cancer, my awful cortisol curves, my exhausted adrenals, my crazy hormones, my last days of cycles that were a nightmare of fogginess, my objective weakness before unethical or negligent medical practice... Do you remember? I wasn´t being able to go through a day at least. And then, you need to recognize, the fruit of your prayers, your patience. Your guide has made so many people to stand up and continue. To continue their way, trusting and acquiring a long term commitment through charting. You have helped many people, to face again toward God, leaving back anger of suffering biological infertility. At least for me, I have learn to appreciate more my gifts of life. Accepting them with peace, through the way He thought for us, even before my own existence. And by your testimony, I have corroborated that having children, being a mother is more that conceiving through an uterus. That adoption is also a success of N.aPr.o! That sometimes, life is meant to be a gift that comes from a very special way from suffering! Your commitment is still teaching. You have raised a voice on behalf of so many couples that are suffering in a land where any option wasn´t available. I have been praying for you since friday we talked. Yesterday I went to Our Lady of Guadalupe's amazing little home and I offered her a light on behalf you and your mission. I know that more fruits will be coming soon! Thank you!!

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  5. You are such a beautiful lady. I'm so happy that you will be able to use what you've learned to help someone so dear to your heart.

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  6. You are so right! Sometimes our crosses bring us amazing gifts that we'd never expect. :) God bless you for your work helping others!!

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  7. We never know how many people we are touching with our words alone... I remember when you first told me (after you had single-handedly brought NaPro Technology to your COUNTRY, um, HELLO?!?!?!) that you counted me among the people responsible for getting you to that place in your life. I was floored. And frankly, I still am. If it is true, then we have only the Holy Spirit to thank for placing us together in that y.ahoo group at the same time :)
    God works in such wonderful ways. And I also agree that I would have it NO OTHER WAY even though I have no children.

    God Bless you :)

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