Tuesday, July 31, 2012

When it rains, it pours

Last week Wednesday I found out by DH lost his job and his last day is today.  The same day we  also found out the business that we had invested in since early last year is going through some very difficult times.

All of this at the very same time when we are starting adoption proceedings for our second baby and also we have decided to do again Napro full force at the advice of 2 diff Napro doctors who still have high hopes for us.

The reasons why he lost his job are  are not that clear, only that his postion will be merged with another persons position and that they will need a person with another skill set than his.

This was a complete surprise to both of us, since his evaluation by his peers and boss had gone very well just last month.  

We never ever saw this coming.  When he told me I felt I was kicked in the gut and I have not been able to write about it sooner since I hardly could believe it.

He ended in the best of terms of with the people there and actually the doors are open for him to have a teaching position when he finishes an education program that they sponsored for him.

This will  happen end of November and he could be teaching in January, still many months from now and at a very low salary since he would be just starting with only one or 2 classes a week.   Nothing like he had right now.

We had thought this job was a step in a new direction and while not perfect was a new start for us after many years of  lack of direction.   Now this door is closed and we need to gather up strength to where God might lead us.

His boss, who actually from what my DH tells me was very,  very distraught about letting him go,  told him he can still mention that he has a job there while he job hunts and they will back him up.  They will also recommend him  highly.  Still this does not solve the situation that we find ourselves in right now.

Job hunting in the middle of vacation time with no clear direction where to go.   We are still in shock.

So many plans shattered.

But this is not the only thing that happened.   On the very same week  the business that we had been investing in for the last year and a half  told us they were having major issues.    Also we had no idea.

We had invested   with them  a  large amount (for us at least)  and in return they gave us a percentage each month which was an additional income for my DH.    Not a lot, but it was a monthly extra that permitted us to do Napro and save.

They had been having several months of much lower sales (its the online business of a very close friend of mine and they had been very successful in the past and had been able to grow a lot due to our investment,  but for some reason they have not been able to figure out sales had been going down and down) and  they had to ask us to decrease substantially the percentage of return to us and in case we were to need the money they are not in a postion to return it to us right now.

 I know my friend very well and I trust her completely so I know they must be facing very hard times to come to this.   I know our investment is safe, but the return will be less than half of what it was before.

So basically a  large percentage of our income is  gone in a couple of days and it comes at a time where our expenses were going to increase dramatically in our quest to continue to build our family.

My DH did not know how to tell me when  he found out Monday and waited until Wednesday night to tell me and  my friend at the very same time  had come to my office  that very same day to inform me of the new and was very distraught about the situation.

Nobody knows  about my DH losing his job except B here and  a close friend of my DH.  We have not told our families and I prefer it this way for now.

We need to digest the news first and do not want everybody to be all worried for us.  My dad and my father in law both worked at the same jobs 40 years each so changes in job situations are  always a major source of worry for both.

My DH  was ashamed and very sad.   Lets say it was a  difficult conversation when he told me, specially with us focusing now so much on our next adoption and/or biological parenthood.

Dr B from Ireland and the doctor from the Gia.nna center both recommended that I do several cycles with  new medicines and close monitoring and we had decided to go ahead this week.

My local insurance while amazing,  does not cover Napro.

So this is a very expensive endeavor and on top of it all we got the call from our agency that we start adoption proceedings August 15th.  

While adoption here is nothing as expensive as in the USA (actually you only pay minimal lawyer feed because its illegal to profit from adoption) it has some costs like the courses, tests and paperwork and the need to invest a lot of time that with a job hunt might be difficult.  

I have no idea how my DH now not having a job will affect us.   I am not sure if the agency  will put this against us and ask us to wait.

No idea .

In the case of Napro:

Many of  our  supplements and medicines are not found locally and any testing is out of pocket.   The full regime that the doctors suggested that we start this cycle (BTW today is CD 1 and I need to make the decision to start or delay)

With no insurance covering this each month will look like this.....

  • Pro.xe.ed: 100 USD
  • HCG (Mexico): 70 USD. If I can buy in the USA it might be some 30 to 40 USD per month.  If I have to do the 10,000 trigger shot another 70 or 30 USD....
  • T3 compounded: 40 USD per month from USA
  • Cortef: 30 USD per month from USA
  • Assorted vitamins for both of us: some 80 USD.  most local. 
  • Mucus enhancers: some 30 USD per  month
  • Femara: If I have to buy here..... over 100 USD a cycle. From the USA: 20 USD.  For now its Clomid, but if this does not work this cycle next one is this. 
  • U/S: depending on where,  but some 200 USD plus for the whole U/S series and they want me to do it each month 
  • B/W for P+7 Estradiol, Progesterone and  TSH each month... some 100 USD
  • Cycle review: 50 USD
This cycle only: antibiotics for three full weeks plus medicines for candida before...... around 500 USD or more.

I do not even want to add it up since I will go into a bed and cry....

My only,  only consolation right now is that acupuncture  (in case I were to do it)  is very cheap here. 

To say this is a very hard blow is an understatement.

 While his job was not great and could not support us fully  it was a step in the right direction for us after many years of uncertainty and paid a lot of our basic expenses.  The money from our friends business went to Napro and my income went to pay our mortage,  save and help to bring Napro here.

The weight of everything was not on my shoulders only, but we had finally found a balance and while sometimes I would have wanted to stay home 100% I felt that we were building something finally after 4 very difficult years of marriage.

Now most of it will rest on my shoulders and this is sooooo hard for both of us.

Can you please spare a prayer that we find light and strength in the days ahead.

So many decisions to make.    


  1. Praying for you - job uncertainty and financial strains are so difficult. I am so sorry you are going through this.

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your dh losing his job-I'm sure the timing seems horrible (when is it ever great though?!) but just continue to have faith and trust in the Lord. If you decide to go ahead with meds this cycle, I'll say an extra prayer that the financial burden will not be too much. And of course, saying a prayer that he's able to find a new position soon!

  3. Praying for you. Faith, trust, and prayer.

  4. Although we have not had to face job loss, I know the pain of stressing over money. It's the one thing that keeps me up at night. I know that the Lord is going to help you find your way through this!!!!

    Praying for you!

  5. Although our situations are different I know what it is like to be married to someone with not a lot of professional direction and job loss to boot. I will hold you very close in my prayers. And I will pray that your husband's path in his professional life will become clear.

  6. How stressful!! I will pray for you guys. Hopefully it means that something better is right around the corner!

  7. Prayers are certainly going up for you!
    Have you considered a "Donate" button on your blog?
    When you said you felt punched in the gut when your DH told you about his job loss - I am so sorry. I can only know that God has something better in store for your DH and for your family.
    I hope that you still continue to pursue the adoption route, but the TTC route and so much out of pocket seems to say that you won't be going down that route quite yet.
    I wish I could do something to help you! Sending many prayers your way! ((((hugs))))

  8. UGGGhhh...this is so upseting. You articulate it all so clearly. Can I just venture to say I think it is the devil at play? I just keep seeing beautiful Catholic moms who are being put in the position of having to bear the family's financial pressure when they are struggling with IF or delicate pregnancies.

    It really is astounding to me...this pressure.

    I am praying for you RIGHT NOW and for your DH too.

    I am so so sorry.

  9. So sorry to hear this news. Pray, hope and don't worry - God will pull you through this.

    Jeremiah 29: 11-14

    Praying for you

  10. I'm so sorry :(. I know the stress of financially (and solely) providing for your family, and it is far from an easy burden. Even just knowing that there was *something* else to fall back on financially is a big consolation, and when you don't have that... enter mega pressure and stress.
    I will pray for this. And I hope your treatment and adoption work out wonderfully.

  11. You know that we pray daily for you and your men. May our friendship gives you support and hope. We need to face the future because this is where we have arrived, trying to follow what God has thought for us :)