Napro testing results = Restless heart, plus more intentions

NOTE: We continue with our Novena to St. Gianna, its the 3rd day  and  all can be found here.  Intentions and Novena We have new intentions so if you are praying with us please go and see the updated list.


I thought that doing the full Napro testing would bring me peace, yet since getting most results from the lab  this week my heart has been restless.    More than restless.

Almost all results are normal, some even great and quite unexpected for me being 41.  And this had brought a  myrraid of unexpected feelings

It has been almost 3 years since I had done the full evaluation.  The first one I did it on my own, asking local doctors for help (most thought I was mad) and with the help of a very  old copy of Dr. H book and the Yahoo catholic fertility group.  I had a fire in me that I am even surprised when I think about it.

Nothing was going to stop me in getting answers. Nothing.

This time I have Josemaria and this for sure changes things, but also I learned the hard way that having a diagnosis and treatment does not always signal pregnancy and even harder that pregnancy does not always signal birth.

Then I had no idea what things meant until Dr. H explained them to me.

The findings then:

• Late luteal phase defect for which I use since the very beginning HCG with great results.
• Hypothyroid: So I take T3 and  my many symptoms are gone
• Low cortisol: I am on hydrocort, also symptoms are gone. 
• And the lap found  endo  which has now been taken out and Dr, H did not expect it to return.   
• All else normal and for endo I take Omega 3 and now pycnogenol as recommended. 
• With this protocol, after the operation  and once I started using  Naltrexone  for low beta endorphin levels  I got pregnant in 6 months.   The 1st month with the whole protocol and acupuncture. 

This time I know what most things mean.  Been TTC way to long does this to you.

All last year I was on the very same protocol and even on low dose Clomid and no pregnancies.  I did not do any acupuncture as I did not have the strenght after the miscarriage.

Great P + 7 results almost always and nothing.

This time the testing results  are as follows:

Progesterone p +  7 was 32. 7, very high,  signaling a strong and healthy ovulation and healthy levels for implantation.
U/S: I do not understand all the details  of the report, but the final comments from the doctor doing the interpretation: All signals to a normal ovulatory event.  Uterus looks OK.    No liquid in the cul de sac, normal and open cervix, mucus in the cervix,  etc.
My DH sperm count went way up  with supplements (pycnogenol, pro.xeed and  a mix of vitamins I give him from several books, plus acupuncture ) to 180,0000,0000.   Speed and living sperm way above normal.  Yep,  the number  is almost 4 times what he used to have even after this operation for varicocele and on  Prox.eed.
Morphology has decreased 1%, but with these numbers and since its strict criteria Dr. H told us not to even take it into account.
The HSG report says all is normal.  Tubes open, uterus looks OK
Estradiol curve is beautiful.  Almost exact to the one on Dr. H medical book.
DHEA, TSH, Prolactin,  Testosterone, etc normal.

So far the only things that are off:

• Vitamin D3 is deficient a part of the panel that I requested, but really was not part of the normal testing.   I know this can affect hormones and its vital for many processes in the body.   Even living in Mexico with tons of sun I must make sure to be out more with no sunblock  and also take supplements.   Still I do not know if this reason enough not to get pregnant. 
• LH and  FSH p +  7  were a little low.   I am not sure what this means.   Anybody knows?  Yet ovulation seemed normal. 
• My DH low morphology.  Its 3% in the strict criteria.  Dr. H actually took his report  last time (which included pictures of the sperm signaling the normal and the "abnormal"ones and called several doctors to see it) He said: Look how the clasify abnormal  sperm, there is no way they can say why they cannot fertilize an egg from these pictures, this is why we never should trust these reports.  So I am thinking with such large numbers its not so bad as it sounds.  

Non of the above  (as far I understand) are reasons to be infertile.

I am only missing now the hysteroscopy that was also recommended, but speaking to the doctors that did the U/S and the HSG there are no signals to problems in my uterus so far.   I am still praying about it.
I did recurrent miscarriage testing before and all normal.

So here we are.... nothing signaling that we cannot get pregnant again.

And last appointment with our acupuncturist.  He said:

Do not worry about the testing, all will come out normal and even better .  All your TCM signals are optimal for a pregnancy and I have also fixed your DH sperm.
All is great now.
We have reestablished the flow of energy to your uterus which was closed after your miscarriage and all other pathways are open.  You should see great progesterone and a normal ovulation.  

So these words  and seeing 32.6 progesterone and the normal follicule  in black and white made me  feel hopeful again.   There is  no way you cannot with this info.

 Yet this is both a good and bad thing.

This cycle brings so many memories from so many failed cycles in almost 5  years of TTC and my emotions are raw.   So many hard memories.

 Cycles where everything was "normal" after medicines given to me by local doctors and then by Napro  and yet no pregnancies.

My DH is now hopeful again.   This is perhaps the hardest to manage.

Do we need to guard our hearts?

Can I handle the hope month in and out?

The last days after almost a year and  a half of not even wanting  to think, where I never  really believed in the possibility of another pregnancy, have been an up and down .

Raw, raw.

I find myself studying all symptoms.  

I am very tired and last night I had nausea... I think I ate something that made me feel sick, yet my DH eyes were excited.

My mind wandered to where it normally has not.

And  then some great news.

All my clients that started charting  2 years ago with IF and that have done Napro  to the end,  all are pregnant or have had babies.

All.

The only ones not are another couple and us.

And Friday I received an email  from this couple.    A very,  very difficult case, with many factors against them.  More than 7 years of IF, male and female factors, hers very bad.

Pregnant after Napro treatment.

If they had so much against them and Napro worked when all signaled it would not, why cannot it work in our case if they have found all that was wrong and fixed it? and if there is more to fix this time why could Napro not work?

So...

My heart is hopeful again.

Yet so afraid to face again the dreaded 2 w wait each month and knowing full well  that my time is short being 41.

Hope and fear all in the same heart.