"Let nothing else worry you, disturb you"
These were the words said to Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego hundreds of years ago and She tells me this everyday in my IF journey. To every one of us.
Am I truly listening? Living this way?
She is the Virgin protector of Life. She has been named this by different Popes and bishop. She is pregnant and about to give birth to LIFE and She is telling us not to worry, that She is with us.
Yet, am I listening to what She said? Am I truly living this way? Making Her words my own?
This is Her weekend. A weekend where we conmemorate Her apparitions. Its Her birthday and here in Mexico we sing to Her happy Birthday, Feliz Cumpleaños, Las Mañanitas.
Tomorrow most churches will be tolling their bells in Her honor, millions (last time they say there were 5 million pilgrims during 3 days) will visit Her, masses will be said, altars will be filled with flowers. We will celebrate Her with thousands of fiestas.
Yet for me this is a very difficult weekend on so many levels. I continue to bleed heavily, not so heavy as yesterday and Friday, but my body is giving clear signals that something is not well. I feel very tired, weak and deep down that something is off. Also another Christmas childless.
Two amazing doctors have different theories, neither of which is consoling: My local holy doctor thinks it might be that I still have remains of my miscarriage in me and my body is again trying to get rid of them. He mentioned that we need to check this out ASAP.
PPVI.... well they mentioned I should have a pregnancy test on Monday if this continues and if not go again into full hormonal testing mode. More and more testing again.
If its a pregnancy.... An ectopic pregnancy? such heavy bleeding during the 1st trimester is not a good sign. At all.
Being me I already tested and its negative, yet my heart of course is worried and hopeful at the same time.
DO I TRULY HEAR THIS THAT SHE TELLS ALL OF US? Do I live this way?
"Hear me and understand well, my son the least, that nothing should frighten or grieve you. Let not your heart be disturbed. Do not fear that sickness, nor any other sickness or anguish. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health?"
And I need to graduate to become a practioner and with so many health crisis in the last months I am way behind in reporting things. I basically need to do 2 months of work next week. So I am seeing clients during the weekend and all next week and will need to work nights to graduate.
DO I HEAR THESE ALSO HER WORDS?
"know, my little dear, that I will reward your solicitude and effort and fatigue spent of my behalf"
Work done for God always, always bears fruit. Do I truly live this way?
And last:
" Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything"
So today when I am frigthened, weak and sad I repeat Her words over and over again and know that She is with me. With us
I needed these words so badly today. I feel so close to Our Lady of Guadalupe in large part because of you. You have brought her and Juan Diego into my life in a very special way, and I can't thank you enough.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you at our celebrations in North America :)
I am so thrilled I found you and your blog today! I LOVE your blog! Thank you so much for these beautiful and encouraging words! You have no idea how much I needed to hear them!
ReplyDeleteMy name is Maria. I'm forty four years old. I met my husband Ed three years ago on a Catholic Singles website. We have been trying to concieve for three years without any success. I have been a daycare teacher for twenty two years and LOVE children. I've always wanted my own children and to be a Mommy. I was told by my old doctor that I'd have no problems conceiving when married. Wrong! Two years ago I had my first surgery to remove a cyst from my ovary and was diagnosed with endometriosis stage four at age forty one and a half. In April 2009 I had another surgery to remove more endometriosis, more cysts from my ovaries, ect. Hubby and I have visited many specialists who all tell me it's next to impossible for me to be able to concieve. I have tried everything - vitamins, losing weight, standing on my head, jumping jacks, ect. but still my arms are empty. I've cried so many tears of frustrating. The most frustrating thing of all is that a friend of mine who is 40 and newly married and I prayed a rosary novena together several months ago for a baby and guess what? On the day before the rosary novena ended, she announced she was pregnant! I wonder, why her and not me? I have a special devotion to the Blessed Mother and her rosary. I prayed to be able to have children for years while I was praying for a good Catholic spouse to come my way (Of course I wanted to be married first before trying to have children, but still when I was single I prayed that someday after marriage I would be able to have children too!). My heart and arms ache so much to hold a child and be a Mother! I know exactly how you feel!
Very comforting to me are prayers - I will pray for you and This Cross I Embrace - could you please pray for me too? Could you pray for me at the Shrine of Guadalupe in Mexico next time you are able to go there? I would really appreciate it so much!!
I know that Jesus and His Mother love us and hear our prayers - I just want to know I am not alone and someone up there is hearing my prayers for a child!! I will share with you often when I'm praying the rosary every night begging for a child of my own, I am always in tears!!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
Much love and hugs to you!
Love,
Maria Therese in Mass USA
prayrosary4life@aol.com
Eloisa I certainly am praying you are not having an eptopic pregnancy and that this is just a hormonal problem that can be fixed... I hope you find the strength to get out and about and celebrate with your fellow countrymen this beautiful feast day of Our Lady and may she hold you in her heart in a very special way today.
ReplyDelete