Yesterday I went to Adoration and decided also to go to confession. I needed it urgently.
I went to confession with the same monk that married me. A young and holy priest, that actually lived a very succesful professional life before joining this order.
I need to clarify first that they are different variety of monks if you can explain it this way. =)
They have many of the ways of monks and are considered monks, yet lack one fundamental quiality of monks: the live in community, dress the part, have regular prayer times, do a lot of Adoration, have a weekly desert, etc yet do not have the vow of stability which is that they will stay in the same place their whole lives.
I love, love this order. Its quite new, founded by a Dominican, yet different from the Dominincans. Here is the link to their history: http://www.stjean.com/EN/Jeu_accueil.php
Well so I am sitting in confession and start telling him what I am feeling: that my prayer life is very weak, that I am extremely tired and that I think that its a combination of grief, hormones and too many things happening at once, that I feel that there are too many things happening without clarity on what God truly wants and that in part I am starting again to feel angry at all that God has been asking of my DH and I and that being surrounded by children born from IVF or out of wedlock has become once again very very hard.
In a few words, a mess. I cry.
So I tell him I need to go on an urgent retreat to be with God. Perhaps with their contemplative sisters that have a very nice convent in the desert. I have been there twice and I have always felt so very, very happy there. To focus on prayer and silence away from the world. This Martha needs Mary time.
He looks at me and tells me:
You need to go with your husband on a romantic vacation.
I smile. My heart sings.
He tells me: you need to go with A. to a nice romantic hotel in the mountains and have couple time, love each other. Have an unusual vacation.
Go to a romantic hotel, rest, and have with plenty of time to talk, to grieve, to enjoy each other. And take the Bible and read it together and discuss what God it asking of each of you.
But make sure to have plenty of time to hear what he has to say. To love each other.
- ► 2012 (64)
- ► 2011 (82)
- Prayer buddy reveal
- An early Christmas present
- Breakdown and hopefully a turning point
- "Look vertically, not horizontally"
- Being held by the Virgin (and my prayer buddy)
- A 14 year old girl
- "Let nothing else worry you, disturb you"
- Prayers please =(
- Romantic vacation advice from a monk
- December 9th, 1531
- Baby-keys, husbands and grief
- My fathers Christmas
- My life plan and why I am struggling
- Wheat and a powerful Prayer buddy
- ▼ December (14)